Coconut Rush

18. Coconut Rush

We all have dreams, old or young, rich or poor; there is something we yearn for. That something we assume will make our lives perfect. Usually, it doesn’t. I had two dreams, dreams I couldn’t tell anyone about. The first was anathema to the idea of children being slaves to parents. I wanted to live a chore-free life. But no, this is not about that dream, this is about the other one;

My friend “Hazard” lived right opposite me. In Hazard’s house stood a coconut tree, it bore the biggest fruits, even bigger than Hazard’s head (he had the biggest head amongst the kids in the neighbourhood). Not to shame him but it was huge. My ultimate dream was to eat the fruits borne by this coconut tree

This dream sounded easy enough to bring to fruition, but no, it wasn’t as easy as climbing the tree to get some of the fruits. You see, Hazard had an older brother Abakan, who harvested and sold the coconuts, therein lay the problem. You are probably thinking;

“Why doesn’t he just buy a coconut from Abakan?”

For the simple reason that Abakan didn’t plant the tree. Nope, I wouldn’t let him reap where he didn’t sow. What kind of person denies even his own brother fruits from a tree that grows in the house they both live in?


So, nope I wouldn’t pay for it. But then a way had to be found.

I thought long and hard about this and finally came up with a plan, it was brilliant in its simplicity. Wait for everyone to go to work and then go get the coconuts.

On the day of reckoning, I feigned illness and Hazard did the same. I stayed in bed till a little before midday and then headed over to Hazard’s. He was waiting for me underneath the tree with all that we needed; a cutlass to cut them off the tree and a basket to put them in. Hazard wasted no time at all, he immediately scaled up the tree and started throwing down the coconuts. You should have seen me, not even Adam was this happy when he saw Eve. My joy was short lived though.

After just five coconuts it stopped dropping and I saw Hazard making to come down, I was about asking him why when I saw Abakan coming out of his room. I immediately took off, not even waiting to give Hazard a hand.

Abakan had been in his room all along, he had never gone to work. The sounds from the falling coconuts had woken him up. He had come out clad in just his boxers. Hazard shimmied back up when he saw Abakan at the foot of the tree. I had also paused at the gate when I had heard no pursuing footsteps.

Standing there, I thought about our situation. Hazard couldn’t come down because of Abakan, Abakan couldn’t leave because I was at the gate and would come for the coconuts soon as he left. And I also couldn’t leave because hey, coconuts. We were locked like that for almost a half hour. My heart went out to Hazard then, imagine being poised like that, slipping ever gently down the tree with Abakan looking up at you grinning wolfishly.

Just when I was thinking of making a break for it, Hazard signalled me to look outside. I peered cautiously and lo and behold, coming up the road was Eleanor, Abakan’s crush. Not just him, every young man in the neighbourhood had eyes for her. I knew this was my chance. Hazard’s house had short walls, the kind you can see over. When she was almost at the house, I shouted;




I turned back to make a face at Abakan, that’s when I realized my error, he was almost on me. He had moved whilst I was distracted. In shock, I couldn’t do anything, but then I heard the sweetest sound;


That was Abakan’s boxers, his sudden movement had ripped the bottom open. It was an old pair you see. Now I was even more scared, all I could see was Abakan’s dangling genitals. I knew I was going to get a face full of it, they were making a beeline for my face. And then the second miracle;

“Abakan, is that you?”

This was Eleanor, she had heard her name and had moved closer. You should have seen Abakan then, contorting to hide his groin, but it was futile. What was left of his boxers only ripped further. The sudden stop had also made him lose his footing.

He fell flat on his back, legs splayed out with his jewels bare to the world.

Hazard used that distraction to get down then, making straight for the wall. That jolted me out of my shock and I quickly turned and made for my gate, where I found hazard. We went straight to my room and stayed there till my mum got back from work. At which time we went back to Hazard’s.

I wish I could tell you that we found the coconuts, and that Abakan was so embarrassed he didn’t come out for a week. But no, that didn’t happen. The spiteful businessman had taken the coconuts we had harvested and had even had the tree cut down. He also told on us to our parents. I walk funny now.

And you know the cherry on top of the cake; after that day I began seeing him and Eleanor hanging around dark places together. Talk about life not being fair.



Author: OsugyaniAbrantie


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